Wednesday Night Whatever.

Everything in the news makes me heartsick and disgusted and scared.  Our collective apathy makes me feel weak and vulnerable. 

I try to remember that I am only responsible for, that I can only control, my actions - that I cannot take on the guilt of the bad people in the world.  I try to remind myself that what I have did not come from taking from the have-nots.  I want to do more, I should do more, to help those who have less, who need more, but some days it's a struggle just to get to the end of the day.  And then I feel terrible for not pushing a bit harder, as if my not making a bunch of sandwiches for homeless people is directly causing worldwide hunger to not be fixed already. 

Ugh.  The world is so ugly. 

This is why I stay home all the time.  It's safe in here.  It's full of funny happy people who love each other, even if they hit and scratch and bite sometimes, and yell, and cry and whine...still.  Way safer than your average public gathering these days.  Also, I'm always tired.  And taking the girls to other peoples' homes freaks me out because I'm afraid they're going to get on your nerves or break something or stain something.  And I still have stupid terrible mom guilt any time I leave them with Grandma because I feel like I'm imposing on my mom and abandoning my kids all at the same time, so it makes it hard to let loose and have a good time, ya know? 

This was supposed to be a Facebook post, not a blog entry.  Whatever. 

My First 5K!

Guys, I did a thing! 

I've wanted to do a 5k for a long time, but there are lots of easy excuses to not do one.  Back in January, though, my friend Melinda told me she was doing a Color Run in June, and I was all, "Sign me up!"  Back then, my insurance was through Humana, which has a program called Go365 that allows you to earn points for physical activity, and those points translate into dollars.  I accumulated $250+ worth of points in less than a year, and a 5K was good for a few hundred additional points.  Of course, my company changed their insurance carrier a month ago, so I don't have the incentive program any longer, so my W00t! at completing a 5K was minimized.  Also, I twisted my foot in a bad way a couple weeks back - heels and cobblestones do not mix well.  I've not quite been limping, but my foot hurts.  The 5K was scheduled for 8 a.m. Saturday, and as of Friday evening, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to do it. 

Saturday morning, though, I woke up, got dressed, downed 3 Ibuprophen with my protein shake and headed for Waterfront Park. 

So, the Color Run is a color run because there are checkpoints along the route where people throw powdered colored chalk on the participants.  I expected to be much more colorful by the end, honestly. 

Holly had done this particular run before, so she was in the know and warned us about the dust and advised a bandana would be a very good idea.  She was very right. 

See those steel studs on the bottom two floors of this building?  I sold those.  That's what I do these days - I sell steel studs used in commercial and residential framing.  Turns out, I'm not terrible at it.  Who knew?