I'm sitting at the beach.

The moon will be coming up soon...i know that because i can see Mars now, and i know the moon follows shortly after in the lower left of my panoramic oceanfront view. 

This is amazing. It's Tuesday. The girls are finally sleeping. Jimi and mom and dad are all in bed. I'm alone on the balcony with a hard root beer trying to suck up every single possible moment of this vacation.   It's been such a long time coming. I'm so thrilled to be here. I dont want to waste a moment. 

The wind is getting cold.  I should get a jacket or blanket or change into pants or something.   I want to go down to the beach and sit in the little chair hut thing dad rented for the week, but I'm a woman so the idea of going somewhere alone and isolated at night is scary.  Have to weigh the potential experience against the possibility of being raped and murdered, just because, you know, I  have a vagina and that's what society has taught me. Ugh. 

I'll probably stay here. Maybe. Still havent seen the moon, but it's coming.

I downloaded a star chart app last night and it scared me.  Maybe because it was red for night mode.  Maybe the bad new age music. Maybe I was a little too high. But i pointed it down, and it showed me constellations on the other side of the world,  in another sky, and it freaked me out and I had to turn that shit off and sit down.  I felt a little dizzy, a little sick to my stomach. It was odd and strange and a little funny.

I wish there was a cigarette lying around out here somewhere.

I've been swimming and lying in the sun and there's more of that on the agenda for tomorrow. Life is sweet.