Lucky mom

We took a late nap today, like 4 to 7, and so we felt justified in taking little girl out to get Mexican food for dinner at 8 o'clock.  She ate cheese and lettuce and fruit/veggie/yogurt melt things and an entire pouch of pear/kiwi/spinach baby food stuff.  she probably would've eaten the heck out of some ground beef from our tacos, too, but she's not had meat yet and i'm not sure why we're holding off but it's felt like the right thing so no taco meat for the Hiku tonight. 

She decided last weekend that she didn't need her walky-walk toy anymore to get around and left it behind to walk across the floor.  She hasn't completely abandoned it or the couch or a wall to help her get where she's going, but she relies on them a lot less frequently.  Jimi and I looked at each other that first night and said "our world is about to change".  As if that's something new.  The last year has been one change after another, and I think we may as well just get used to that. 

She still nurses to sleep every night.  I don't know how to get her to sleep without a boob or a swing or a combination of both.  I imagine this has potential to become a problem, since she's outgrowing her swing and won't nurse forever, but for now it's working for us so I try not to think too much about other moms who are able to put their child in bed awake and walk away without a complete "i can't believe you just abandoned me!" meltdown ensuing.  I'm a little jealous, but not much; we just do what works for us.

Dadadada is her favorite word, and she tells nearly all of her stories using it.  From a low chatter to a high-pitched squeal, she loves to talk about her daddy.  She's almost completely stopped saying mamamama.  I'm trying hard to not have my feelings hurt. 

She'll be a year in less than a month.  The time has flown and I can't believe my teeny tiny little baby is already a walking chattering little girl.  I feel like I missed something, but I'm too busy to spend much time worrying about it.  I try to soak up every moment with her - just tonight, my arms tired from her heft, my nipples tender from her nursing, I was so overjoyed to have her sweet warmth against me, to smell her sweet milk breath, to hear her little mumbles as she drifted off to sleep, still talking about daddy.  Holding her and feeling her solidness - I dreamed about her for so long, sometimes I just want to hold her and feel her and rejoice in the fact that she's here and she's mine and she's SO FUCKING AWESOME.    I probably shouldn't use that word when talking about my sweet daughter, but jeez oh pete, she really is super cool and sometimes you just have to use certain terms to express the depth of your emotion on the subject.  She is awesome.  She's smart and funny and adorable and sweet and good-natured and spirited.  Being her mother is the hardest job I've ever had, but she's an easy baby.  We're so amazingly fortunate.