34.6 - Holy smokes, this is really happening.

Her arrival is just around the corner and there are a million things I want to record for posterity but when I sit down to do it I suddenly can't remember anything I wanted to say, or can't find an interesting way to say the things I can remember.

Maggie threw a baby shower for us this past Saturday, and it was the best baby shower I've ever been to.  Not that I've been to a lot of showers, but seriously, this one was fantastic.  No games (I always kind of hate the games at baby showers, especially that melted chocolate bar in the diaper game - EWW!), just a few hours hanging out with some amazing women, laughing our asses off and oohing and ahhing over little baby things and exclaiming over the size of my big ol' belly.  She and Tammy and Melinda came up with an amazing spread of food - little turkey and ham and cheese sandwiches on puff pastry, tarts made from wonton wrappers and pudding (?) and blueberries and raspberries, delicious homemade mints, cake pops (!!!), jalapeno poppers wrapped in bacon, chips & dip - I'm sure I'm forgetting something.  Maggie took care of my one request - ice cream punch made from orange sherbet and ginger ale, my absolute favorite drink ever.  I think I had 3 huge glasses - I'm surprised I didn't go into sugar shock, especially after the cake pops were thrown in on top.  For activities, Maggie had attendees write messages on white fabric squares with fabric markers - she's going to sew them to some beautifully patterned fabrics she cut to size and turn them into the most amazing personalized burp cloths...I get teary-eyed just thinking of how special those are.  She also took blank note cards and printed at the top "To the baby..." and "To Nat & Jimi..." and had guests write little notes, which then went into a small photo book.  I cried my eyes out when I read the messages from our friends; I felt so loved, and it makes my heart so full of happy to know how much love our Village already has for our daughter.  Melinda was the official shower photographer, and the pictures she took are a fantastic representation of the day - I'll steal them from Facebook soon enough and share them here.  I had no idea my belly is so big, or that I make so many funny faces throughout the course of an afternoon.  :)  The day was so full of love, it was overwhelming.  The generosity and thoughtfulness of our friends blows me away.  I don't know how I'll ever thank Maggie and Tammy and Melinda for all the work they put into that party; it was more perfect than I could've possibly imagined. 

Once I got home that afternoon, I was completely wiped out, but of course, with a house full of baby gifts, the nesting has kicked in full force.  Despite my exhaustion, I vacuumed and cleaned the carpet in baby girl's bedroom - I needed to start moving things in there, and I couldn't do that until the floor was clear and clean.  Then I moved everything I could onto her bookcase, just to have something baby in the room, rather than a big empty space.  It's Tuesday now, and we came home to find the crib and mattress waiting for us on the front porch, so the bed is assembled and in place now.  Things are coming together.  The dresser needs one more coat of paint and some contact paper to line the drawers and it'll be ready to move into place, and then I can start washing and putting away little baby clothes.  I'm not so overwhelmed by my list today.  Things are getting marked off. 

I had my next-to-last 2 week appointment with my midwife yesterday; I went in with a million questions, and she was able to give me good answers for nearly all of them.  I've nearly finished my birth plan, but I'm still not sure where I stand on the vitamin K shot they'll want to give her immediately after birth.  I've decided I'm cool with the antibiotic eye goop, even though I don't have any yuckies that would make it necessary.  We'll pass on the Hep B vaccine for now - I think we can keep her away from the stripper poles and dirty drug needles for a few more years yet.  I'm going to call our family doctor and seek his opinion on the vitamin K injection and take it from there.  I've got a little time before I have to decide.

I've ordered a breast pump through a medical supplier that my insurance covers, and I've got my fingers crossed that it arrives before I have to go out and spend $300 of my money on one.  Apparently, with the Affordable Care Act making it mandatory for insurance companies to cover pumps, medical supply companies have been overwhelmed by the demand and ran out.  The most popular brands aren't available now for the foreseeable future - maybe until April or later - and the shipment of "off-brands" has been delayed by weeks.  It's a little stressful, but I'm trying to assure myself that with having 5 weeks before my due date, and then maybe another 2 or 3 weeks before I'd need to start pumping, surely I'll have a pump before my need becomes critical.  Right?  Surely. 

I washed all the cloth diapers given to us by Lori, and the site of them hanging up to dry made my heart full of happy.  I reminded myself tonight that I need to remember how excited I am right now about those diapers, and try to maintain that attitude, even when they've recently been full of shit.  I need to try to remember my excitement about all of this - I wanted this little girl so very desperately for so very long, I sincerely hope I'm able to keep focus on the miracle of her, rather than becoming frustrated or overwhelmed by all the work it's going to take to raise her properly.  She is my greatest gift, my most precious parcel - I want my huge joy for her to always outshine any small day to day details. 

I have crib sheets in the dryer - I'm going to go get them and make my daughter's bed for the first time.  I'm going to remember my excitement at this moment, because the next time I change them it'll be because she's pooped or peed or puked on them, and I'm sure my giddiness will be much smaller then.