33.1 - My little pineapple

- Touch up paint in nursery
- Paint trim in nursery
- finish sanding dresser/changing table
- Paint dresser/changing table
- Paint drawer pulls for dresser/changing table
- Install ceiling light in nursery
- Clean carpet in nursery
- Order crib and crib mattress; assemble crib
- Make and hang curtains in nursery
- Make crib skirt
- Wash diapers and newborn clothes
- Complete birth plan
- Order breast pump
- Attend breastfeeding class
- Tour hospital
- Pack hospital bag
- Buy postpartum supplies (pads, etc.)
- Stock up on daily necessities (soap/TP/etc.)
- Make freezer meals

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I'm starting to freak the fuck out.  Less than seven weeks to go and that list is just the stuff I can remember at this moment that we need to do.  I nearly had a panic attack last night, lying in bed making that list in my head. 

Oh my goodness, there is so much to do.  SO MUCH.

 

Jimi reminds me that all she needs is a clean butt, a warm bed, and a full belly.  The rest is just details.  Of course, he's right.  But oh goodness, I want everything to be perfect and just right for her when she arrives.  I want to bring her into a home that's perfectly prepared and ready for her.  I want to feel calm and collected when I go to the hospital, not panicked and stressed. 

 

And then I worry, what if no one gets us anything from our registries?  What if we end up with none of the stuff we need for her, and we have to buy it all ourselves?  How will we afford all of it?  This is the problem with waiting until 6 weeks before your due date to have a baby shower, I suppose.  And then I feel like an entitled asshole for feeling like other people should buy us anything at all - of course no one has to buy us anything and it's shitty of me to expect them to.  But I think in the back of my mind I've just assumed that the people who know what babies need would hook us up, and that our sad lack of knowledge would be covered up by their generosity, because I'll be honest, I don't have a clue what babies need.  I've never done this before.  It's all new to me, and more than a little terrifying.  Who decided to let me be a mom?  I have no idea what I'm doing. 

 

We'll figure it all out, of course.  And Jimi's doing a good job talking me off my ledge, believe it or not.  I'm much calmer now than I was last night or this morning.  This is just the residual.

 

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Work has exploded in a bit of crazy, too, and that's not helping my stress.  Our administrative assistant is leaving in two weeks.  Did I mention my baby is due in seven weeks?  That means I've got next to no time to hire and train a replacement, in addition to training our salesman to take my place while I'm out.  Oh boy! 

 

 

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And our shower has been draining slow for the last few weeks, so I finally browbeat Jimi into fixing it tonight.  Now it doesn't drain at all.  It's 10:30 at night, and it needs to be taken apart completely so he can find the clog and get things moving.  Fuck.

 

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But baby girl is doing well.  She measures perfectly, her heart rate is in the 150s, her head is still down, and she moves all the time.  She's over 4 pounds now and 17 inches long.  I love her more every day, and despite the crazy surrounding her impending arrival, I'm so looking forward to meeting her.