They say this happiness is just the beginning...

Oh my goodness.  That was breath-taking. 

There's a heartbeat!  and little legs and little arms and a funny-looking head and a heart that beats and beats and beats!  One hundred and sixty-seven times a minute, that little heart was beating!  Baby Trogdor (that's what we're calling him for now, Trogdor the Burninator - don't ask why because i don't know the answer, it's just what we've claimed for four years that we're naming our first born) is measuring exactly on target, at 9 weeks and 1 day, with a due date of February 20, 2013.  

I'm so overwhelmed.  I'm so full of love and happy that I feel like I'm going to explode.  I can't stop tearing up.  I'm so relieved.

I took the day off work, but Bossman changed the game plan last night and asked me to come in for 2 hours, because he and our Ops manager were going to be offsite - he gets nervous about leaving the place "unattended".  So I worked for two hours this morning, which was probably a blessing in disguise, because I was an absolute nervous wreck, and can't imagine the shape I would've worked myself into had I not had other things to focus on.  (I didn't sleep well at all last night, and was so nervous this morning that my stomach and chest were both hurting.)  Ten o'clock finally came, and off to the doctor I headed.  I had just enough time to get to the office and be maybe 10 minutes early for my appointment - so of course I drove past my exit.  And of course, because I was panicked about missing my exit, I chose to take the next one, which was another highway, which meant I had to drive an extra 2 miles before I came to the first exit where I could turn around - and of course that exit was one of the busiest in the city, so of course it took all of my wiggle-room time to get turned around and back on target.  But I got to the hospital, and I got into the parking garage, and the little old lady in front of me, of course, came to a complete stop at every turn in the garage.  And of course, she also took the last available spot in the entire garage.  So I made my own parking place, on the roof, in front of two other people who'd had the same desperate idea.  I was pissed off and fuming and frankly didn't give a flying fuck if they towed my car - I had to get into that office for my appointment!

I was right on time.  Well, if on time means walking into the lobby at the time my appointment was scheduled.  Close enough, right?

Jimi was already there, and we didn't have to wait long before they called us back.  Thank goodness, they did the ultrasound first - she explained, "I'm going to take some measurements and then I'll turn the screen so you can see, but first I'll tell you what you're waiting to know - there's only one baby in there and it has a strong heartbeat."  Whooosh! - There went all my pent up fears and worry and nervousness I've been harboring for the last 5 weeks.  Those few words took the scared away.  And then she turned the screen, and I saw my baby wiggle.  She hit a button, and suddenly the room was filled with the sound of my baby's heartbeat, and then came the tears.  I gasped - I'd been imagining this moment for weeks, when I'd let my mind go down that path - but it was really happening.  I'm growing a whole another person, and he has a heartbeat! 

The rest of the almost-3-hour visit is a blur of questions and congratulations and tests and blood draws.  My doctor has prescribed progesterone suppositories and a daily baby aspirin for the next four weeks to further reduce any risk of miscarriage.  I would've submitted to anything, I already had all the information I came to get.  I was walking on air, and they could've forgotten me in the lobby between call-backs and I wouldn't have cared because I'm growing a baby and he has a heartbeat. 

They gave us three ultrasound photos to take home - I texted one to family and a few friends and my phone proceeded to blow up.  My Daddy - I think maybe he's more excited than Jimi and I are.  When Momma learned she was pregnant with Brother, I remember listening to Daddy call everyone in our phone book to share the news.  He did a repeat of that today, I think.  He loves babies, and he's so excited for his first grandbaby to finally be on the way. 

I guess I can start to think of this all as being really real, huh?  I guess now I can start to get excited? 

This is one of the happiest days of my life.  It feels surreal.  I'm so fucking happy, I could just pee. 

Wanna see a picture?  Baby Trogdor's first close-up:

Ain't that just the cutest little baby-to-be you ever did see?

Gosh, my heart is just so full.