5

**Disclaimer:  This shit is TOP SECRET, yo.  Well, as Top Secret as it can be when it's posted on the internet.  I can't not blog about this life-changer, but if you know me in real life, please don't share the news - I can't bear to have to make those phone calls or announcements again if things don't end well.  

It's been a week.  Well, it's been 5 weeks, according to those calculator things.  Everything seems to be on track, whatever that means this early in the game.

My nipples feel bruised.  I get hungry more quickly than usual, but I'm a snacker by nature, so it's not abnormal for me to graze throughout the day.  (It's harder at work for me to find time to shove food in my face, but I've been taking snacks with me to my meetings.)  I've felt a wave or three of nausea in the last few days, but they're short-lived and curtailed by water or a banana or a handful of nuts or some yogurt. 

I'm drinking Raspberry Leaf tea, taking my vitamins, eating fresh fruits and veggies and lean proteins and whole grains.  I started keeping track of my foods again, in an effort to ensure I'm getting enough of the good stuff.  It's been 8 days since my last alcoholic drink, 6 days since my last smoke.  I'm sleeping like it's my job, and I've taken Finn on two good walks so far this week.

I'm still scared - in a way that makes my heart quake if I look too closely at my fear.  Apparently your body makes lots of fluids and such during this phase of the game?  Several times I've felt something that was similar to a beginning period, followed immediately by the feeling of my heart falling into my stomach and my throat clenching up as I sigh and head toward the bathroom to face reality.  But every time, everything has been fine, not even the faintest indication that anything is amiss.  I'm working really hard to stop expecting the worst...while still trying to brace myself, just in case.

I have an appointment scheduled for mid-July, followed by a physical with my general practitioner.  I'm going to be booking an eye exam and a trip to the dentist in the next couple of days, as well.  I've finally dusted off those amazing budget spreadsheets Maggie sent me years ago so I can watch where my money goes and start saving for...everything.

I've allowed myself to browse Pinterest for nursery ideas, I've added the Hypnobabies Home Study Course to my Amazon wish list, I've made a future-looking post or two on Baby Center.  I've started a "Trogdor the Burninator Part Deux" bookmark folder on our browser.  Jimi's started looking at cloth diaper patterns and wants to spend the winter sewing little baby t-shirts and screen-printing them with cool pictures and phrases.  "We could order them on Cafe Press," I ridiculously suggest.  "No way!  We can do it!"  Jimi's full of awesome and lofty ideas. 

I hope we get to spend our winter sewing little baby t-shirts and little baby diapers and little baby blankets.  Oh, I hope so hard.