Dark

It's pretty dark inside my head this morning.  I woke at 2 a.m. and had to fight out the dark thoughts so I could get some peace and go back to sleep.  Once the demons passed, I dreamed of Granny - and other things I can't remember. 

Sometimes it feels like the things I want most in the world are the things I'm not allowed to have.  I don't understand.  I don't know how to fix it.  Why can't I just be happy with what I have and not wish for, dream of, desperately want more?

I don't want to make hard choices.