I came in from mowing (90 minutes, 653 calories burned) (Really?! That seems like an awful lot), and stripped down to get in the shower. There was a spot of grass on my upper thigh; I went to brush it away...and it crawled closer to my girl bits.
"Holy crap, I think there's a tick on me!" I yelled to Jimi, who was in the next room, dressing to take over/finish up the mowing. He came in and closely examined the squirming spec I was trying to squish between my fingers.
"Yep. That's a tick."
"It was headed for my no-no place!" I was leaning over as far as I could, desperately trying to see into my vag to make sure there weren't any ticks in there. I stood up and looked my beloved straight in the eye, "Is there a polite way to say 'Baby, will you check my butt crack for ticks?'"
He smiled at me sweetly, "Take a shower first."
True love.
Bwahahahaha!!!
ReplyDeleteMy no-no place? LOLOLOLOL!!! That really is true love.
ReplyDeletetrue love. its a beautiful thing. ticks re creepy. heat up the tip of a sewing needle and dip it in olive oil, poke it, and it will retract its bite. they they retract, and you pull it off, it will leave its head in the bite.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely adore you Notie, I really do. I love that this is the post that everyone will read first when they come here for Comment Love Day. You are the bestest blogger in the world even though you made me almost spit tea all over my laptop with your shenanigans.
ReplyDeleteSick. And awesome. Well played.
ReplyDeleteJust stopping by for Comment Love Sunday! Come visit!
LMAO you rock!
ReplyDeleteSo, you're pretty much hilarious!
ReplyDeleteHopping over from FTLOB.
ReplyDeleteThis is my kind of post. Ticks and any other blood sucking pests make me ill. If that shower tick of yours had ventured any further up it would have been classified, in my opinion, as a tragedy.
Okay that made me laugh this morning (I really needed it too! I hate waking up as the ass crack of dawn....sorry for the pun).
ReplyDeleteHaha, ok, now I am itching and can't stop. Too funny! That really is true love. hope the tick washed away and you didn't have to spread em for him, lol
ReplyDeleteThat is sooo funny.
ReplyDeleteI hate ticks with a passion. I think they are worse than spiders :/