Storm? What storm?

The "worst storm in decades" lost its steam before it rolled into Louisville last night, but not until the local media and facebook forecasters convinced us we were going to die if we didn't sleep in our basements. I told you, I usually ignore this crap, but I got a little swept up in it this time - I even made some "just in case" contingencies:

~ I filled an iced tea pitcher with ice water and carried it and two cups downstairs.

~ Once I got downstairs, I had to figure out where the safe spot in the basement was – I determined that under our laundry table is probably best, especially with the baskets full of dirty clothes arranged in front to protect us from flying things. And I grabbed up some blankets that are waiting for their turns in the washer, thinking we could put them over us if the shit really did start to go down. The problem with the idea of taking shelter under the table? Spiders live under there. Big ones. I’m really glad we didn’t have to take cover.

~ I plugged in the radio that lives downstairs. I don’t have any batteries for it, and I really didn’t think through the fact that if we took cover in the basement, our power would likely be out, making the radio completely useless – or just another projectile.

~ I put together a bag of emergency supplies. It included: 

     ~ Tea light candles

     ~ A box of kitchen matches

     ~ Bottle rockets (sorry Adriana – Steve said the FBI would show up at my door if I tried to mail them to you.)

     ~ An unopened jar of crunchy JIF and an unopened bag of pretzel nuggets – you know, sustenance.

     ~ 2 LED flashlights

     ~ Finn’s leash

     ~ First aid kit

~ I carried down my purse (with car keys) and a sturdy pair of shoes for each of us. (I guess I thought if a tornado did hit, it would leave everything in the basement unscathed, especially my pile of necessities.)

~ I moved the laptop to the basement and plugged it in, too. (Like maybe I could pick up a wifi signal from a neighbor whose home wasn’t sucked away?)

After all that, I grabbed up my cell phone and a can of beer and I stood out on my front porch and watched the drama roll in. By the time it hit Louisville, the wind gusts were down from 90 mph to 45, and the severity they’d been warning about for hours was drastically downgraded. I watched for an hour, but nothing happened and we weren’t even under a tornado warning, so I went to bed around midnight. Jimi was already there, with the local NPR music station playing through our clock radio. “It’ll warn us if we get a tornado warning,” was his logic. Uh huh. Maybe it would’ve but when the Beastie Boys came on, it was time for the radio to go off. Even with earplugs in, I could still hear that noise. (Not that I dislike the Beastie Boys, but they’re not for bedtime.)

There’s one large branch in the middle of my yard, but that’s our only damage. My plastic tables didn’t even blow off the porch.

Psht. “worst storm in decades” indeed.