Let's talk about Me.

Okay, I swear to goodness I came up with that title BEFORE the effing bullshit excuse for a country song came into my head, but now I'm going to have to listen to that piece of crap before it'll go away.

Fuck.

Anyhow.  Back to me.

I'm like my favorite subject ever.  Obviously.  I mean, HELLO!  What else are we doing here, right?  

I think on my "about me" page I wrote something about how when I was a little girl, I had a fantasy wherein I was, of course, a Princess, and every morning paper's headline involved some mundane activity I'd performed the day before.  Let me give you a few examples of headlines my 6-year-old, 7-year-old, 8-year-old selves created:

PRINCESS NATALIE TAKES A BATH:  

Mr. Bubble and Aqua Barbie are in Attendance

PRINCESS NATALIE WINS AT CANDYLAND!!!  

Final Score:  Mom: 1, Princess Natalie: 8

PRINCESS NATALIE GETS NEW SCHOOL CLOTHES!  

Wait 'til You See These Shoes!

I love being the center of attention, and this is nothing new, and it probably always will be.  

And then I see these chicks with these blogs with a millionandahalf followers and they do these little "ask me anything" blog posts and get ahundredeleventyeight comments/questions and I'm all "Gawddangit I wish I could do something like that" but then I remember that I've pretty much told everyone everything about me already and that no one actually cares anyhow.  

But still, I thought it would be cool if I told you guys what kind of questions I'd like to get if someone out there ever for any reason thought about me in the middle of brushing their teeth or wiping their kid's ass or driving to the DMV to renew their tags and wondered "How did...?" or "What about...?" or "Who was...?".  

Again, I understand I'm living inside my own little world here.  Humor me for a minute, would ya?

Questions I want you guys to ask me when I get up the balls to assume any of you give a shit and post a "ask me anything" blog entry, wherein I will promise to answer any and all inquiries at a later date:

1.  What do you love about Jimi?  

(Because I keep meaning to write a post about how awesome he is, 

but I never quite manage to get around to it.  Too busy talking about ME!)

2.  What are your favorite things about you?  

(Because I'm really good at telling you what I'm bad at.  

It's harder to say good things about myself, 

but really, I should be nicer to me.)

3.  If you had a million dollars to spend however you wished, 

how would you spend it?  

(Who doesn't love that game?)

4.  What's your happiest memory?  

(I don't know what I'd pick, 

but it'd be a good trip down memory lane, right?)

5.  If you could change one thing about yourself, 

physically or mentally, 

what would you change?  

(Another one I don't know how I'd answer.)

6.  How did you get to be so awesome?  

(That's my ego talking again.)

7.  Can I pay off your mortgage for you?  

(A girl can dream, right?)

8.  I own a publishing company - can I publish your first book? 

(May as well dream big.)

9.  (Insert any question wherein you ask me something about me.)

Okay, getting a little carried away, I guess.  My bad.  But you get what I'm saying, right?  

I just want you all to think I'm awesome.  That's all.  And to care about every little detail in my life.  Cool?  

;)