Get out of my dreams.

Dear Katherine & Tabitha:

Please stay out of my nocturnal wanderings.  That flight I was on last night?  Not sure where I was headed (Germany, maybe?), but man, it sure sucked to see that you two were on the same plane.  And did you really have to make such nasty comments?  (That was mostly you, Tabitha, and that gem of a husband of yours.  Kat mostly stuck to dirty looks.)  I know it's what you did for the better part of the 15 years we were "friends", but Christ, I'd hoped you'd grown.  I hope you have and this dream was just the leftovers from what I remember of you back in the day. 

We've not been friends, for all intents and purposes, for the better part of 4 years.  (I did remember when I woke up that it's been right at 4 years since you got married, Tab.  Maybe that's why you're showing up in unexpected slumbering places.)  My life is happier and less stressful without you in it.  The one thing my dream reminded me of was what it feels like to be surrounded by people who are unaccepting and judgmental and, to be frank, people who are just plain mean when they feel that you're not worthy of their time or attention.  I don't have friends like that anymore.  The people I surround myself with these days are loving and accepting and kind and generous and welcoming and warm.  And they like me.  Not the me they want me to be or the me they thought I used to be - they like me.  Now, today, just the way I am.  It's a simple concept that I absolutely did not understand until you two were no longer in my life. 

Maybe I'm dreaming of you two because of Patricia's circumstances.  My heartache for her has put the decade and half long friendship the four of us shared in the forefront of my mind lately.  Oh, and my disgust with the ones who would celebrate her tragedy - and yes, even if she "brought this on herself", her situation is still tragic - I can't believe the nastiness that spews from those who claim to be a shining example of Christianity and Christ's love.  Of course, we've always expected the judgment from you, Tabitha, so when your husband went on his hateful internet rampage, I just shook my head and said, "Huh.  Maybe they were meant for each other...they have SO much in common."  You both turned your backs on her when she needed her friends.  You judged her and shunned her, and you weren't there when she needed you.  You were bad friends to her.  And now, you're laughing at her and saying "I knew she was bad!"  You knew no such thing.  This has shocked us all, because Patricia is so good, so sweet, so NOT this person we've read about on the news. 

We've all moved on.  Please, just stay out of my dreams.  Don't show up unannounced in my subconcious thoughts.  I'm better off without a refresher on what used to be or what might have been. 

Love,

Nat